Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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