i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
