Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Bring me that man meat
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize