It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
