During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
