She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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