my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you win again, gameday.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
