I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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