So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I understand Curling. That high.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize