He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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