Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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