Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
