so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
