another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
