I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
