Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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