are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
