My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize