you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
