I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
