Will you blow on my dice?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
