problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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