I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
