need another drink. this is the easiest way
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Found your dick twin last night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
