yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
