so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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