I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
