So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
