I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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