lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
