so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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