just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
