I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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