oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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