Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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