so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
