I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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