What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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