Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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