Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
