I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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