I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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