dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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