They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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