he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
