Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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