For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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