i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
