hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
