I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
