She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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