im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
