Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
