Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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