How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize