um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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