dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
