I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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