I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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